Our Dreams at Dusk: Shimanami Tasogare

So, I started this manga today (5/23/18) because I saw it updated and thought “Why not I’ve been meaning to read this for a while,” not realizing that it was the final chapter updating. Now I’m writing this review in tears because I read the manga in one sitting. A brief summary of what I enjoyed because I’m going to get long and personal after: Shimanami Tasogare is beautifully written with art that is gorgeous. The story is emotional, drawing you in, making you question how Tasuku will come to terms with his sexuality, showing personal issues LGBTQ people face, and leaves you in wonderabout who Anonymous is. I recommend it to everyone, no matter their sexual or gender orientation, to read this manga. Now a more personal and longer take on the manga: What got me interested was that it was a story about a gay teenager who tries to kill himself after almost being outed. As someone who is herself a closeted queer person (bisexual) who has a history of suicidal tendencies, I myself know what it is like to go through these feelings and events. Very rarely am I able to see what myself and other LGBTQ people go through, especially in manga form, so the plot interested me greatly. As I read it, I saw a lot of connections between the LGBTQ experience, especially when it comes to the community made through it. I loved reading and seeing how the different people vented their issues with their own sexualities, whether it be destruction, screaming, or keeping it silent inside. One of the parts I loved the most about the manga was seeing the community portrayed in such a positive light. The story revolves around the queer community and the choices Tasuku makes after becoming a part of it and learning more about what it means to be LGBTQ. From my own personal experience and research, it was so important and heartwarming to me to see him find this community as it does (both in the real-life community and in the story) become another family. This manga is extremely important as it shows the positive of the community, as well as internal struggles they have (such as not understand each other sometimes), but still shows how the community acts as a family and cares for each other. I want to get more into this by mentioning actual scenes but as to not spoil anymore if it I will leave it there. Moving on (kind of) from the story, the other major part I loved about this manga was the art. Incredibly beautiful (several times I just stopped reading because Tasuku’s eyes were drawn so beautifully I just had to stare at them), the art was so well done and used to its full effect, helping the story and represent what these characters were going through internally. One of the best examples of this (that is early enough in the story that I’m not spoiling much) was at the end of chapter 3 when Tasuku realizes what he is feeling towards a classmate. The scene shows Tasuku breaking apart like glass, with the glass reflecting in classmate. In that moment he also says “No one look at me,” and I cried for a good long while after this part, because as mentioned before, I’ve been where he has been. I’ve seen multiple depictions of what it feels like to be in the closet and realize who and what you are feeling, and that was the first time I’ve seen someone get it so dead on to what I felt, both the breaking and not wanting people to see. Shimanami Tasogare is an amazing manga that captures a great look at what it means to be LGBTQ, and it’s a manga I would recommend anyone read no matter their sexual or gender orientation.

I’ve said in past reviews that the general societal conservatism of Japan makes it a fool’s errand to seek out good LGBT representation in media. Well, this manga proved me wonderfully wrong. Shimanami Tasogare is a slice of life drama, but interestingly enough, the first chapter is framed almost as a mystery with some supernatural elements. These elements quickly fade once our protagonist, a gay high schooler who’s deathly afraid of being outed, discovers a tucked-away community of LGBT people. They come in all walks of life, from an middle schooler questioning their gender identity to an elderly gay couple. This should be a generallyhappy manga, a story of self-acceptance even with some bumps along the road, but the initial framing renders it permanently bittersweet. By presenting the Cat Clowder organization with an air of supernatural mystery as previously mentioned, the mangaka establishes it as escapism rather than realism. If I’m reading the subtext right, this is meant to depict how LGBT communities can be so hard to find that one might as well just treat them as a fantasy, which is pretty depressing. This feeds back into the plot, with our main character desiring love and validation but being too scared of himself and society to pursue his true self. When I say that Shimanami Tasogare’s organization is an LGBT community, I really mean all of it. Going into this manga blind, I expected it to be about gay men and maybe women. I was pleasantly surprised to find out that Cat Clowder included all sorts of LGBT people, including bisexuals and trans people. There’s even a discussion about asexuality later on, which I never thought I’d see in any media. Since this is quickly becoming my defining flourish, it’s time for some trans character analysis (In this paragraph I’ll go into some spoilers for the second volume). For once, this manga fares really well with its transgender representation! There’s a trans man who’s not explored too much but I’m glad is there, and a closeted trans girl in middle school who much of the second volume focuses on. Junior high is a terrible time no matter what, and trying to sort through your gender issues then may actually make things worse. This character is scared of going through male puberty, but doesn’t quite have the agency or security to come out as a trans girl. She talks to the main character at large about these anxieties and feels pained every time she has to gender herself or make a conscious choice about identity presentation. Near the end of her arc she finally musters up the courage to present as female and wear a yukata during a festival. This ultimately doesn’t go too well, and a few panic attacks later she flees and stops coming to the lounge for a while, and by extension stops dressing as a girl. All the characters end up concluding that they simply pushed her too fast and that now wasn’t the right time, but that she’d come back and figure herself out sometime later. This may sound like a depressing conclusion, but it’s a devastatingly accurate one, at least for me. When I was in high school, I started questioning my gender identity for the first time, but the lack of resources and self-agency made me give up and repress all those thoughts. It took until the relative freedom of college for me to finally come to terms with myself and start transitioning. Shuuji’s arc may not have been cleanly resolved in canon, but just like me, one day she’ll be able to come to terms with herself. There’s an interesting dynamic at play with Cat Clowder being a demolition and construction organization. I read it as a metaphor for reconstructing personal identity, which is a sweet touch. In addition to character development and drama, there’s usually some big project to move the plot forwards as well, not to mention characters having to juggle their school and work lives as well. I haven’t talked about Anonymous at all, the mysterious patron of this whole community, who funds their projects and gives them safe spaces to exist. There’s not too much to say about her, other than that I think she’s a nice role model to look up to. If I had time and money on my hands, I too hope that I would act as the maintainer of a big space for all my friends to hang out in if they’re having trouble. Overall, even across cultural bridges, Shimanami Tasogare’s characters and their anxieties are extremely relatable, and it’s one of the most accurate depictions of LGBT identity in a country and medium that so often distort it. If you’re queer or think you might be, this is a must-read, and it’s a validating journey. Even if you’re not, it’s still a moving character drama and I cannot recommend it enough. We need many more stories like this.

As a non-binary bisexual person this manga is good and I will die on this hill and my bones will become fossils in the earth of this hill, fight me I dare you. To the reviewers that say this mangs is "boring", "unrealistic", and "forced" did we even read the same manga? The story of our dreams at Dusk is lovely, a insight that a lot of us western people will not understand because news flash we live in the west, where it seems unrealistic for a place with "nice Japanese people" to do what they did in this manga. Japan isn't as nice as weare led to believe. It is very likely that in a small town, exactly where this manga is set, is filled with people who will say rude, nasty and horrific things to LGBTQ+ people. The representation is amazing here, trans characters you don't even know are trans until it's a plot point, characters that are written as themselves first and their sexualities second, a joyous little coming of age story where yea, we do see someone struggling between masking who he is and presenting in an openly homophobic way (which anyone surprised at his fast development I don't think actually understood the story they read or his character at all). The characters are all well written, have a good depth to them and are people you want to root for, hoping they'll get their own versions of a happy ending. The art is just spectacular, creative and expressive and the abstract moments only enhancing the emotional highs and lows - SPOIELRS!! but I have to talk about the shattering scene with Tasuku realising fully he has a crush on Tsubaki, it's just so heart-breaking and delightfully crushing, it portrays the realisation of having a crush that's outside the "norm" and how it affects your entire identity when it first comes to light SPOILER END!! Overall I cannot recommend this manga enough if you're not an action Shonen fanatic. The story is wonderful and if you think it's boring I just don't think you'll ever get it.

There's alot of neutral to negative reviews of this manga on here, and I simply and utterly disagree with all of them. This is, simply put, the most accurate depiction of the LGBT+ experience I have ever read in Manga. If you are looking for a BL story this is not it. It's bitter, honest, and up-front about the pain of human connection, the contradictions we all create in personhood and the struggle of being alone vs being understood. Characters across all ages, in various stages of their lives and their identities come together to form a community. I've seen some people say this isnot an accurate depiction of the Gay experience and I have to disagree. As someone who was outed by people I thought were friends, I found the initial chapters incredibly relatable. I live in a western, relatively accepting country, and I was still completely hurt and utterly terrified when it happened to me. Having an intimate part of you shared without your permission is terrifying, and I have never seem those feelings so clearly represented then here. The ending is a little bittersweet, not every question is answered, not every relationship turns out perfectly fixed, not all characters react to situations like you want them to. But the story is fulfilling, the characters are empathetic, and everything feels painfully human. Also it's beautifully drawn!! The mix of expressionist art and bitterly realistic storytelling really got to me. If you're interested in LGBT+ things or just coming of age stories in general, I consider it a must read.