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63
7
Finished
Jul 16, 2020 to Sep 9, 2021
8.0/10
Average Review Score
100%
Recommend It
6
Reviews Worldwide
This one's a real roller-coaster ride, and not for the faint of heart, but I highly recommend it all the same. And for anyone who decides to give it a shot, do not stop too soon. This is a slow burn, so you may get the wrong impression if you don't go far enough. Given the title "I Would Die to Have Your First Time", as well as how shallow the hero is at the start of the story, it'd be easy to see this as some indulgent wish fulfillment about a fat bastard (Tooru) who got to go back in time and takehis wife's (Mika's) virginity. But it's not any of this really. It's a story of character development. The hero indeed starts out very low. He has zero self-esteem, can't figure out why his wife, who'd had countless boyfriends before and whom he can't seem to properly pleasure no matter how hard he tries, accepted him. These feelings of inadequacy and jealousy twist into an obsessive wish that he'd have been the one to take her first time, to be with her as she experienced all these things. When he dies and revives in high school at a point when he'd encountered Mika without even knowing it, this's the only thing he can think of. This, and a certainty that the woman who'd always said she'd choose him in any life or timeline would certainly accept his love immediately, only to have that crushed with the discovery that she currently has another crush. Over time he grows. Anytime he's knocked unconscious he wakes up in the future and finds where his path took him; then when he dies in this future he's thrown back to some point before he passed out (ranging from seconds to a day or two). These futures are very painful, and gradually force him to confront some dark aspects of himself. Bit by bit he grows and improves, until those words from the title are a burden weighing him down, a demonstration of how his feelings can be too strong and actually hurt the one he loves. This series is a clear demonstration of how much pain one can take when it comes with a happy ending. There are countless scenes that hurt to read, filled with betrayal, doubt, hate and rejection, all gradually leading the characters step by step to grow into better people, culminating in an ending that brought happy tears to my eyes. If you want a simple romantic comedy where an already good guy just has to get the girl to notice him, this is not for you. If you want a long, hard struggle fighting tooth and nail to reach an ending entirely worth all that effort, then by all means enjoy.
Unattractive 31-year-old office worker Tooru Nishimori is married to Mika, the most beautiful woman at their workplace. Due to her extreme popularity with men, some would say that she is wasted on a person like Tooru. Nonetheless, Tooru and Mika could not be happier with their marriage. However, there is one thing that deeply troubles Tooru: the fact that Mika dated multiple men before him, in contrast to himself, whose first and only partner has been Mika. Tooru becomes even more bothered when he imagines his wife having sexual intercourse with her previous partners. After Tooru dies upon being hit by a train, he ends up reincarnated as his former high school self. He wakes up in front of a high school version of Mika, along with the first person she had sex with. Having travelled back in time, Tooru is now on a mission to protect Mika's virginity, all for the sake of being her first partner. [Written by MAL Rewrite]
Whatever expectations you have from reading the title and the synopsis, the manga is absolutely not like that. I was very prejudiced when I started reading this manga and thought I would drop it fast, after all the MC was this fat ugly guy who turned back in time to take his wife's virginity. I honestly expected smut. However the opposite happened and I couldn't put it down. The manga is a rollercoaster of emotions and handles a lot of heavy themes in a good and compelling way. The art is also very good and detailed. It really brings out the uglyness and the beauty of thecharacters without being too exaggerated. What I really enjoyed was the character development of the MC over the course of the story. His motivation was shallow at the beginning but turned into this pursuit to give his wife a happy future while experiencing the different outcomes of his actions and learning more about her. This manga is underrated and I definitely recommend it.
"I will do anything to be Mika's first." Just like the title of the manga 'I'm dying for your virginity.' is at the start one of the main focal points of our protagonist Tooru to continue traveling into the past to be Mika's lover. Let's rewind a bit, shall we? The manga starts us with a not-so-charming, good-looking, nor decent protagonist named Tooru he's in his '30s and through some stroke of luck was able to get together with Mika. Mika is a very charming individual that way out of his league, even so, they're together. Although there is an obsession with him about not beingher first time eats at him at his core. I'm going to address this now so readers that don't want a read story for this reason alone, to let you know that it actually gets addressed later on. Anyhow, due to his unlucky circumstances, he gets hit by a train and finds himself in his high school days. Every interaction, small or large affects his outcome in the future, it goes from being Mika to being someone or not at all with anyone. This is the journey we entrusted upon and seeing the growth of Tooru as a person from having no friends, to being somewhat of a decent person. The art goes to the extremes where in one panel it's adorably cute, and in the very next Tooru is being his disgusting old self. It's such a diverse and unique style that it flips from one to another. This manga isn't for the faint of heart as there are extreme and even uncomfortable situations. Even so Tooru as faulty as he is a chad nonetheless and massive props to him.
After a whole night of reading, this is an amazing read. The story has ups and downs. You simply cannot predict what will happen next (except the ending kind of). When you thought the MC got it in his hand, it slips. And when things are out of reach, the MC somehow grasped it. The story of the MC is the one that he achieved himself. He had spent blood sweat and tear to get the happy ending that he deserved. Aside from the many story of betrayal, heartbreaking moments; I would highly recommend this if you can take them on. Honestly I think everyone canread this since I am personally really bad at reading these kind of things. My review isn't doing this manga justice, you have to try it to get the full experience.
tl;dr: A manga centered around a pretty strange but really great character and relationship arc. This manga has a premise and opening that are somewhat misleading. It begins with the protagonist, Tooru, who looks quite a bit like the typical ugly bastard youâd see in hentai, mulling over how he wasnât the one that took his wife, Mikaâs, virginity and wishing that he was. And then his consciousness seems to get thrown back into his high school self so that he can seemingly change that. I can definitely see how such a premise may seem like itâll result in a sketchy manga, but it turns outto be quite wholesome. However, itâs not like all of the premise was ignored or didnât matter. Rather, itâs a critical aspect of the manga throughout, though whatâs important to understand is why Tooru thinks the way he does. Tooru has a massive inferiority complex centered around the fact that Mika was the first person he ever went out with, while Mika had a lot of experience with men. He doesnât think that heâs good enough for her, and thus wishes that they were more equal, but canât imagine himself having experience with a lot of women, and thus wishes that Mika was as inexperienced as he was. A core aspect of this story is Tooruâs character arc in overcoming this inferiority complex as he struggles for his happy ending. Overall, his character arc is very well written, though itâs also quite frustrating. Thereâs slow but steady progress, but in a âtwo steps forward one step back âsort of way. Which is definitely better than âone step forward two steps backâ sort of way as things are moving steadily forward. But the steps back can definitely be painful and cringeworthy. Tooru doesnât just leap from the future to the past once. Rather, heâs going back and forth quite a bit, seeing the effect that his actions in the past have on the future and then changing course in the past. And this often results in him deciding that it would be better for Mika to be with someone other than him and thus trying to put distance between him and her or trying to get her into a relationship with someone else. Still, in every case he eventually gets over himself. Thereâre pretty strong star-crossed lever themes in the manga, which combined with the multiple timeline aspect work incredibly well and make their relationship and relationship development really easy to get invested in. The back-and-forth multiple timeline nature also allows the manga to showcase the other characters in very interesting ways as well. Mika doesnât get as much focus as Tooru but still gets quite a lot. She doesnât really have a character arc, but the adult version of her has clearly grown quite a bit compared to her teen self. Just showing how her past and future selves are different was pretty fun in and of itself, but the manga also shows the transition between the two for a bit which was really fun, though I wish it was fleshed out more. There are a lot of other side characters whose lives are also affected by Tooruâs time jumping, with Tooru and Mikaâs circle of friends being composed essentially entirely of people whose lives Tooru saved from turning into a mess. There isnât all that strong of a group dynamic because the narrative is heavily focused on Tooru and Mika, but how they all play into Tooru and Mikaâs story is well written. Overall, I think the writing in the manga is pretty great, though I feel is does get really messy in the last two arcs. The second to last arc I fully understand what it was trying to do and I can see why the messiness was necessary for what it wanted to convey so I donât really have any issues with the arc. The last arc however, I feel was overtly messy for no real reason and that it rushed or glossed through a lot of what it should have spent more time on. I feel this arc would have worked a lot better if it was more straightforward. Still, all in all I would still have to say I found the ending very satisfying, and the epilogue was also really cute. The art I also found to be pretty solid. It is kind of strange that everyone in the manga looks nice except for Tooru who is often drawn to be pretty ugly, but it fits in the grand scheme of things and isnât an issue when you get used to it.
