Neeko wa Tsurai yo

In a world where life is harsh and nothing but the depressing and anxiety-inducing reality strikes you in the face every single living moment you have, you begin to be someone like Neeko, whom is the main character of our dear manga titled “It’s Hard Being Neeko” (Neeko wa tsurai yo, respectively), where it brands itself as a “Painful but fun popular slice of life comedy”, and only the first word of that is really true. It’s hard to live life without knowing what you want to do, and it’s even harder being able to understand why you’re afraid of doing it. But you knowwhat’s worse? Knowing all of that, and having the crippling fear of anxiety scare you away from ever approaching what seems to be this insurmountable, ominous goal. That’s what life is like for so many of us. (Light spoiler warning for you all, but not to worry, I barely remember fuck all.) << Story >> (This is going to be a relatively half-light half-deep review as opposed to a super deep dive so…) I’ll be honest. Have not read this manga in a while, touched it even in over a few months. And, can’t even recall when I last read it. I had thought I already wrote a review for this manga a few months back, partially evident to my history, and I recall believing I would binge-read this manga and write a review, but that did not come due to translations for this manga essentially being completely dropped every 2 months now (only 3 chapters left too, but shh, it’s doomed). Thus, impatience became worn when I noticed in my MAL a manga I vaguely recognised, “Ah, Chapter 38 came out… That’s weird, where’s the other 3? Oh. Oh…” Anyhow, we follow the story of Niito Nemuko, Neeko for short. With her name being a slightly clever play on her personality, Neeko is a 23 year old living the life of a socially anxious and destitute NEET after leaving high school with no prospects, clear goals or true aims for the future. Her trauma and reason for her lazy past years of anxiety is shown to us in the very beginning, with her being verbally abused and harassed after attending an interview for a job unbeknownst to her entire family and friends. As a NEET, Neeko is constantly urged by her younger sister who’s in her last year of high school, Imoko to help her with her resume for work and her telling Neeko to get a job. Not only this, her mother pressures her to do the same, consciously guilting her for her inaction all the whilst Neeko and her realises that even though that same guilting might be necessary, Neeko simply just can’t do it. And there’s so many points in the story where her mother pushes, and pushes all at the wrong times, the wrong events that force Neeko into the complete opposite direction that she wants her to go because she can’t understand how she thinks, yet thinks she knows Neeko better than she knows herself, and it bites her back in so many ways. And so, the story focuses and follows Neeko’s change as a person from a broken NEET, unable to communicate properly with with people and being jealous of everyone around her by instead slowly developing the ability to step outside of her comfort zone bit by bit as the chapters pass by, being able to do things without the pang of anxiety constantly drumming against her heart and giving her the painstaking aches many of us know all too well. << Characters >> There is nothing perfect here, in the entire manga. I’ll say that outright, other than one thing. The character dialogue. I’ll admit, most of the characters don’t even memorable names, but they do have memorable personalities. Something that’s unique to them, and only them. They don’t feel like carbon copies of stereotypes, other than partially Neeko, but, she’s a whole huge different page. It’s likely this story is written as a form of projection from the author, trying to depict their lives or thoughts of how things were for them in this digestible format. Perhaps I’m wrong. Yet, with every character, nothing feels “right” to say. Everything feels like it’s the “wrong” thing to say. Yet, it’s all, so painfully realistic. So realistic it hurts my heart to read it and remember it over and over again, because some of it is engrained in my mind. A lot of the dialogue between Neeko and her mother, and her sister is very raw sometimes. It appears to be at face value nothing more than, “Ah sweet, they don’t realise anything at all, 2D personalities as usual.” Yet, that same dialogue with Neeko and her family often was the same words I’d hear in my own family, the same destitute guilt I’d receive, the same half-recognising but completely ignoring feelings, the same words that always had to be said but simply just wouldn’t- work- wouldn’t be the “right” thing to say. It often feels like in life, there are some things that need to be said to get someone or something to start going somewhere or get moving, but even if they know that same thing too, it’s like both people are walking straight into a brick wall and simply are trapped- and can’t move and that guilt or not being to simply feel like you can’t do anything is intoxicating. It suffocates you so much. And that same feeling is expressed so clearly in the dialogue with Neeko, her mindset and thoughts replicates that same back and forth arguments in your mind, memories of the past, inability to have confidence in doing things that I see so often. Overall for Neeko, her character is painted to be something that is incredibly realistic and relatable for majority of readers, evident in when there are many, many, many chapters and scenes with Neeko where her anxiety and procrastination pushes her to do the same things many of us do by; reliving nostalgic games because we got distracted, doing a YouTube binge run, buying the wrong things, pushing off cleaning your room, etc. There’s a lot of “Ah, anxiety and procrastination” moments that really help solidify the situation around not only her character and make her this visibly vulnerable and shaky person who’s simply not a caricature of someone who’s a NEET, but show the world of the people around and how many have come and how many have failed to accomodate for each other’s needs at times. Neeko’s character is a reflection of her world, If she feels like everything is falling apart, it will feel that way at times, and the characters around her spectate that, attribute to it or simply try to help, but often in the worst ways possible. The characters aside from Neeko are not particularly memorable as I mentioned before, but it’s their position in Neeko’s life and their original personality that makes unique to other mangas and how they treat one another, especially Imoko who flies as a good-doing sister with good intentions, but rarely pushes the boundaries of her sister and only does when she’s given what she deems as a positive opportunity to get her out of her comfort zone, whereas her mother juxtapositions that same mindset by doing that at the worst possible times and making their relationship worse and worse, and sometimes, better through luck and happenstance communication. << Art >> This is a bog-standard manga Art style in mostly every way imaginable. The other part that isn’t mostly, is that I appreciate the fact that somewhat explicit detail goes into panels when Neeko becomes visibly anxious or a scene is being established. Especially on her being anxious, it really paints that range of hateful to scared emotion Neeko feels and conveys it a lot more effectively than what I’ve seen in other manga. Also, a good amount of the chapters start with the first 3 - 5 pages coloured to remind us of who’s what and what’s what, which I actually really like, and whilst I realise that’s difficult to do, it makes such a nice difference to be able to connect it all together again without having to read the previous chapter back. Overall, it’s truly nothing special but it doesn’t hurt to look at the detail that’s there when it shows up. << Conclusion >> Neeko wa Tsurui yo betrays it’s comedy genre. It follows a dramatic and abrasive story of a depressed 23 year old girl and it truly hurts to read because it reminds me of Bocchi The Rock, but only a large spoonful compared to the ramen bowl that is Bocchi The Rock. It has a specific awareness that doesn’t let up and one that I rarely see in the mangas I’ve read, and sure there’s meta ones, but they don’t convey that feeling of realism and self-association this does, only the fact that its poking fun at something that I can see in the real world. And this assumingly based on the direction the last few chapters were going, would end in a very wholesome and deserving way that Neeko would be set for nicely in the last 3 chapters, the last 2 being super wholesome though… I read this manga on a whim, a whim that I intend on satisfying by continuing to find unknown mangas in the rough. I wouldn’t know where else to go currently at this time to find a manga like this that so perfectly encapsulates what’s to be felt by someone who struggles with anxiety. But, if you’re looking for an unfinished translation (and possibly never to be finished) but a hell of a heartache, there’s a pretty good manga well worth the read right here for you.