Stairs: Houkago no Album

Overview: Since the mods removed my review of the astoundingly bad hentai Aki Sora (I'll reupload it later), I'll just review another piece of smut. This is the utterly mystifying hentai known only...as Stairs. Why is called that? I have no idea. Background: It's not a secret that I love to write comedy reviews of terrible anime. I've always wanted to be MAl's version of The Cinema Snob or Bennett the Sage. This means that I've sat through some of the worst hentai to ever exist in order to write snarky reviews, which maybe 15 people are ever going to read. Stairs is utterly unlike any hentaiI've ever seen before. There is no tentacle rape. There isn't ANY rape. There is no bestiality. Our "hero" doesn't sell women into slavery. It's just a high school romance with likeable characters and actually has surprisingly decent writing. This could have been an above average drama/romance anime and for some reason they threw in a few sex scenes and made it a hentai. WHY?! Was it a last minute move to salvage a scrapped project? Even more mysteriously, this king of all hentai has only 1 episode. Consider that Boku no Sexual Harrassment had 4 episodes! The superhero spoof Rapeman had 4-5 episodes. The furry yiffing incest hentai Wordsworth had 5 fucking episodes. This is the only time in my life that a hentai ended and I actually wanted to see what happened next...and it gets just 1 episode. Life's a bitch. Plot: There is actually a plot besides people fucking! A highschool student named Makoto is deeply in love with his childhood friend, but has never had the courage to tell her how she feels. One day, she starts going out with an older guy who dropped out of medical school. As an aside, I found this amusing since that happens to be my own background. Finally Makoto is upset enough to confront his childhood friend and tell her how he feels. However, she says she never knew how he felt and now it is too late. She becomes pregnant and drops out of highschool to be with her new boyfriend, who I'll just name "Dr. Cocks". Clearly we all know where this is going. Dr. Cocks is going to abandon her for getting pregnant and our hero is going to beat up Cocks (or try to) and convince her to go back to school while agreeing to take care of the baby. We're going to see a hentai version of Last American Virgin/Lemon Popsicle. Only that's NOT what happens! Instead, it throws a massive curve ball and Dr. Cocks is actually a decent guy! He is overjoyed that she is pregnant and gets a working class job to support his new wife and child! Makoto instead winds up with his crush's girlfriend who has always had feelings for him and never had the courage to say anything. They have sex for the first time, which is awkward and frustrating, but she gently guides him though it in a surprisingly touching scene. Realism in a hentai?! What even ARE you Stairs!? Makoto ends up with the friend and never gets back together with the childhood crush. The hentai ends completely subverting ALL of the audience expectations. Art and sound: I am not able to find what studio produced this. I can't find a single Japanese voice actor listed for this on any site. I can't find who wrote or directed this. Everything about this hentai is a complete and total mystery. I can say more about the Aurora spy plane than I can about the production of Stairs. The animation is pretty damn bad, but that's not surprising considering this is a low budget hentai from 2001. The soundtrack is also nothing great. Overall: Stairs is a hentai that's actually...kind of good. I thought that was an impossible contradiction like a man who is shorter than himself, but here it is. Everything about this 1 episode mystery show goes against expectations. Somebody out there actually made a decent hentai and the world will never know his or her name. Thank you mysterious hentai emperor!

With it's opening shot of two trains crossing each other it's very much a good metaphor for what's to come. Unrequited love and the angst of adulthood. Burdens of not knowing one's emotional needs and honesty of speaking from the heart. Stairs is a melancholic short film that goes deeper into exploring these topics from the perspectives of two childhood friends who are now leaving their youth and their innocent behind. Aimlessly looking but not looking directy at their own future because reality itself is scary when it doesn't live up to one's expectations. This seems to be the mantra for all the characters involvedeven those who seem like that have figured it all out.This is what makes the characters more believable as humans since they're wrestling with their wants and needs in a more basic way of not really being honest with themselves. The sex scenes themselves are not overtly pornographic but more distant than joyful. While the animation isn't very good it's writing is certainly is. Backgrounds are decent to look at and nothing stands out but since this is a slice of life show it doesn't need to try that hard. Recommended.